FASCINATION AND THE TEENAGE DREAM
words by anaya elise spears collage by destiny ann montoya
Drop Nineteens
Life is hard
Kick the tragedy
Love
Live
and cry
But when day living is over
Tell me goodnight
Don’t forget to save your sweetest dream
For the morning
Oversharing Vulnerability
The high that gets us by
Our 9 til 5
Silly stupid life
I can hear them coming. 15 x 14 in.
Fascination
Are you fascinated with me?
My little secret
fascinated with you
pretty little muse
part of my teenage interlude
dreaming
Then…
awake
How far will I go?
You go.
Then let me know
just, don’t call.
never text.
physical reception
HARDCORE
then i’ll tell u what’s next.
blue sunday. 13 x 13 in.
This Game With You
Crying
Until my teeth shiver
New form of frostbite
Head quakes
And advil can't take away
Skins cold
Even under my warmest cover
Cry like its a game
Of the senses
Im sensitive
Winner winner
What a loser
Crying
A game for two
Because I cry for you
About you
Because of you
With you
I’m tired of crying
I’m tired of playing
This game
With you
Kiss me Goodnight. 8 x 6 in.
Gossip Spreads Between The Sheets of Paper
I kiss and tell very well
Pen heard from paper
You used tongue
And grabbed me by the bum
From each petal on the flower
I knew you loved me
Never not
But oh no he loves me
But oh I love him not
pussy cat. 4 x 6 in.
Girls4Girls
A lover is a friend
In girl code
A sacred promise is a girl and her bestfriend
Girls love girls
And if you’re a girl for the girls
Come over
Love and friendship coincide
A man just couldn’t understand
It’s okay
Wasn’t for them anyway
untitled (mother). 13 x 11 in.
My Smooth Move
I want to go to the laundromat and ask you for a quarter
Purposely i left all mine at home
25 cents doesn’t get me a wash
But it’s just enough for our hello
You’re so silly the way you mix your darks with lights
Pink polos once white
delicates meant to have been air dried
Do i like you or the way you just can’t do laundry
Self Portrait #1. 7 x 13 in.
Without Company
I want to hang out with a group of me
2 or maybe 3
We’ll sit and write
Smoke pot all night
And read eachother out
A party
Sorry you’re not invited
Only me
My favorite company
home one. 11 x 14 in.
Now and Then
sneaking around with you wasn’t very fun anyway
when i’m desperate i retort to old habits
i call you a habit
a habit of false promise, false love and false happiness
lowering my standards like the dial on my radio
you play like the song i never hesitate to change on the station
overused, words repeating and no true meaning
nothing i think i ever really saw in you
but it was what i really had believed for you
i hate the way i’ve thought about you enough to use my pen
to write the words
and draw the picture more frequently than
just every now and then
hope is my double edged sword
and i used both ends for you
i put the sword away now, because i am through
i’m done now, i quit, i’m clean
but forever will i be loves feen
home three. 16 x 14 in.
Pornographic Memory
Stop thinking about you
I can’t breathe
Unless it taste like
Puffs of peach
And Miami Heat
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
Are you getting clean from me?
Am I still your soft baby?
I want to smell your pomade
Sleep so close
In the bed unmade
Your sweaty kisses after skate games
The wink you gave
When you caught me lookin
I can’t behave
Eyes beyond untamed
When you’re in peripheral vision
Memory photographic
Body pornographic
Wrapping my fingers in your gold chains
monkey-ing around. 3 x 3 in.
The Teenage Dream
Maybe I’ll see you later
Tomorrow night
Or never
Miami baby
Ocean side
Love on the right
Everything looks perfect
Feels even better
Tell me, what’s the Florida state flower?
Tell me I look just like her
Tell me I taste like oranges and smell like key lime
It’s less clothes the better
More color
Cheap cigarettes
And gun power
forever is a long time. 12 x 9 in.
Life is hard
Kick the tragedy
Love
Live
and cry
But when day living is over
Tell me goodnight
Don’t forget to save your sweetest dream
For the morning
Oversharing Vulnerability
The high that gets us by
Our 9 til 5
Silly stupid life
I can hear them coming. 15 x 14 in.
Fascination
Are you fascinated with me?
My little secret
fascinated with you
pretty little muse
part of my teenage interlude
dreaming
Then…
awake
How far will I go?
You go.
Then let me know
just, don’t call.
never text.
physical reception
HARDCORE
then i’ll tell u what’s next.
blue sunday. 13 x 13 in.
This Game With You
Crying
Until my teeth shiver
New form of frostbite
Head quakes
And advil can't take away
Skins cold
Even under my warmest cover
Cry like its a game
Of the senses
Im sensitive
Winner winner
What a loser
Crying
A game for two
Because I cry for you
About you
Because of you
With you
I’m tired of crying
I’m tired of playing
This game
With you
Kiss me Goodnight. 8 x 6 in.
Gossip Spreads Between The Sheets of Paper
I kiss and tell very well
Pen heard from paper
You used tongue
And grabbed me by the bum
From each petal on the flower
I knew you loved me
Never not
But oh no he loves me
But oh I love him not
pussy cat. 4 x 6 in.
Girls4Girls
A lover is a friend
In girl code
A sacred promise is a girl and her bestfriend
Girls love girls
And if you’re a girl for the girls
Come over
Love and friendship coincide
A man just couldn’t understand
It’s okay
Wasn’t for them anyway
untitled (mother). 13 x 11 in.
My Smooth Move
I want to go to the laundromat and ask you for a quarter
Purposely i left all mine at home
25 cents doesn’t get me a wash
But it’s just enough for our hello
You’re so silly the way you mix your darks with lights
Pink polos once white
delicates meant to have been air dried
Do i like you or the way you just can’t do laundry
Self Portrait #1. 7 x 13 in.
Without Company
I want to hang out with a group of me
2 or maybe 3
We’ll sit and write
Smoke pot all night
And read eachother out
A party
Sorry you’re not invited
Only me
My favorite company
home one. 11 x 14 in.
Now and Then
sneaking around with you wasn’t very fun anyway
when i’m desperate i retort to old habits
i call you a habit
a habit of false promise, false love and false happiness
lowering my standards like the dial on my radio
you play like the song i never hesitate to change on the station
overused, words repeating and no true meaning
nothing i think i ever really saw in you
but it was what i really had believed for you
i hate the way i’ve thought about you enough to use my pen
to write the words
and draw the picture more frequently than
just every now and then
hope is my double edged sword
and i used both ends for you
i put the sword away now, because i am through
i’m done now, i quit, i’m clean
but forever will i be loves feen
home three. 16 x 14 in.
Pornographic Memory
Stop thinking about you
I can’t breathe
Unless it taste like
Puffs of peach
And Miami Heat
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
Are you getting clean from me?
Am I still your soft baby?
I want to smell your pomade
Sleep so close
In the bed unmade
Your sweaty kisses after skate games
The wink you gave
When you caught me lookin
I can’t behave
Eyes beyond untamed
When you’re in peripheral vision
Memory photographic
Body pornographic
Wrapping my fingers in your gold chains
monkey-ing around. 3 x 3 in.
The Teenage Dream
Maybe I’ll see you later
Tomorrow night
Or never
Miami baby
Ocean side
Love on the right
Everything looks perfect
Feels even better
Tell me, what’s the Florida state flower?
Tell me I look just like her
Tell me I taste like oranges and smell like key lime
It’s less clothes the better
More color
Cheap cigarettes
And gun power
forever is a long time. 12 x 9 in.