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FASCINATION AND THE TEENAGE DREAM


words by anaya elise spears collage by destiny ann montoya




Drop Nineteens

Life is hard

Kick the tragedy

Love

Live

and cry

But when day living is over

Tell me goodnight

Don’t forget to save your sweetest dream

For the morning

Oversharing Vulnerability

The high that gets us by

Our 9 til 5

Silly stupid life




I can hear them coming. 15 x 14 in.


Fascination

Are you fascinated with me?

My little secret

fascinated with you

pretty little muse

part of my teenage interlude


dreaming

Then…

awake


How far will I go?

You go.

Then let me know

just, don’t call.

never text.


physical reception

HARDCORE

then i’ll tell u what’s next.


blue sunday. 13 x 13 in.

This Game With You

Crying

Until my teeth shiver

New form of frostbite

Head quakes

And advil can't take away

Skins cold

Even under my warmest cover

Cry like its a game

Of the senses

Im sensitive

Winner winner

What a loser

Crying

A game for two

Because I cry for you

About you

Because of you

With you

I’m tired of crying

I’m tired of playing

This game

With you


Kiss me Goodnight. 8 x 6 in.

Gossip Spreads Between The Sheets of Paper

I kiss and tell very well

Pen heard from paper

You used tongue

And grabbed me by the bum

From each petal on the flower

I knew you loved me

Never not

But oh no he loves me

But oh I love him not


pussy cat. 4 x 6 in.

Girls4Girls

A lover is a friend

In girl code

A sacred promise is a girl and her bestfriend

Girls love girls

And if you’re a girl for the girls

Come over

Love and friendship coincide

A man just couldn’t understand

It’s okay

Wasn’t for them anyway


untitled (mother). 13 x 11 in.

My Smooth Move

I want to go to the laundromat and ask you for a quarter

Purposely i left all mine at home

25 cents doesn’t get me a wash

But it’s just enough for our hello

You’re so silly the way you mix your darks with lights

Pink polos once white

delicates meant to have been air dried

Do i like you or the way you just can’t do laundry


Self Portrait #1. 7 x 13 in.

Without Company

I want to hang out with a group of me

2 or maybe 3

We’ll sit and write

Smoke pot all night

And read eachother out

A party

Sorry you’re not invited

Only me

My favorite company


home one. 11 x 14 in.

Now and Then

sneaking around with you wasn’t very fun anyway

when i’m desperate i retort to old habits

i call you a habit

a habit of false promise, false love and false happiness

lowering my standards like the dial on my radio

you play like the song i never hesitate to change on the station

overused, words repeating and no true meaning

nothing i think i ever really saw in you

but it was what i really had believed for you

i hate the way i’ve thought about you enough to use my pen 

to write the words

and draw the picture more frequently than

just every now and then

hope is my double edged sword

and i used both ends for you

i put the sword away now, because i am through

i’m done now, i quit, i’m clean

but forever will i be loves feen


home three. 16 x 14 in.

Pornographic Memory

Stop thinking about you

I can’t breathe

Unless it taste like

Puffs of peach

And Miami Heat

I miss you

I miss you

I miss you

Are you getting clean from me?

Am I still your soft baby?

I want to smell your pomade

Sleep so close

In the bed unmade

Your sweaty kisses after skate games


The wink you gave

When you caught me lookin

I can’t behave

Eyes beyond untamed

When you’re in peripheral vision

Memory photographic 

Body pornographic

Wrapping my fingers in your gold chains


monkey-ing around. 3 x 3 in.


The Teenage Dream

Maybe I’ll see you later

Tomorrow night

Or never

Miami baby

Ocean side

Love on the right

Everything looks perfect

Feels even better


Tell me, what’s the Florida state flower?

Tell me I look just like her

Tell me I taste like oranges and smell like key lime

It’s less clothes the better

More color

Cheap cigarettes

And gun power


forever is a long time. 12 x 9 in.


@ENVY.MAG
ENVY Magazine